I left the space in the midst of emo posts and sadness up til my last update. I think it’s save to say that my life is a tad better now? i don’t know who still reads this, or checks back for new updates, but if there’s anyone out there who still does that, i thank you. for at least wanting to be kept in the loop about my life.

my life is better now because i’m actively trying to get closer to God. At the same time, im kinda more able to let go of things, if they’re really not meant to be. But overcoming that just means that its time for the Lord to give me my next challenge. And that’s what’s antagonizing me now.

It’s like, WOAH. I don’t think I can handle this right now. postponement of deadline, Father?

If it works out, those things, those incidents, would seem so sweet and nice. But it ain’t going to work out.

So many things to tell you, dear wordpress, but i guess, everything would be safer in my little black book. paper and pen under lock and key. The best.

And I can’t sleep again.

even if nobody says it, i’m already disappointed with myself. maybe not a huge disappointment, but i can definitely do alot better.

maybe what happened today was a self-fulfilled prophecy. when i knew how the arrangement might be like, i said nothing to stop it, and here were the consequences. i took the responsibility on myself. and i didn’t pass the challenge i gave myself.

or maybe what happened today is just because i’m still not ready yet.

or maybe i’m getting complacent.

i will go and 自我检讨.

P.S: joseph! sorry about all the password protected posts. they just mean i was grumbling about some stuff deep in my heart. stuff that others gonna find ridiculous. So i used random passwords, so that i wouldn’t be able to remember them and read them in future and laugh at myself next time.

but i feel like i havent gone through enough. if i get difficult runners, i might screw up. i'm afraid because i think i'm not prepared enough for that…

i will continue to work hard, when that comes, i'll be ready for it.
WE'LL all be ready for it.

gambate!!

Gotta work hard for that, must remember to read through the slides again in the morning. AND I need to think of what to wear.

After a break from formal-speaking, thursday will be presentation day for BEHORG. Gotta practise for that too, has to be E-N-G-A-G-I-N-G!

Next week’s exciting, white space! Time to prepare for exams. Gonna mug super hard. I hope. Must be disciplined. Must restrain myself. I shall not tell anyone that I have a white space next week, so working will be kept to a (rather) low frequency. At the same time, I’ll look less like a full timer, more so like a part timer.

~STUDY study STUDY study STUDY study STUDY study~

Resorts World’s phase opening is gonna be tomorrow (wednesday)! It’s gonna be cool.

~STUDY study STUDY study STUDY study STUDY study~

That’s it for now, cheers!