Extra! Extra!

There’s a new interest in my life, and i want to make my move. Please let me be selfish and give me what i want, just this time…

woah.

i think this blog kinda died. havent posted on here for about a year now? it oddly seems to me like its 2012 now. like i said: ODD.

I left the space in the midst of emo posts and sadness up til my last update. I think it’s save to say that my life is a tad better now? i don’t know who still reads this, or checks back for new updates, but if there’s anyone out there who still does that, i thank you. for at least wanting to be kept in the loop about my life.

my life is better now because i’m actively trying to get closer to God. At the same time, im kinda more able to let go of things, if they’re really not meant to be. But overcoming that just means that its time for the Lord to give me my next challenge. And that’s what’s antagonizing me now.

It’s like, WOAH. I don’t think I can handle this right now. postponement of deadline, Father?

stupidity.

Rubbish, this is. I have done so many stupid things, never expecting any returns. so that’s what I get – no returns.

If it works out, those things, those incidents, would seem so sweet and nice. But it ain’t going to work out.

So many things to tell you, dear wordpress, but i guess, everything would be safer in my little black book. paper and pen under lock and key. The best.

And I can’t sleep again.

tmd.

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argh~

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ahem.

always look on the bright side of life~
hmhmm, hmhmhmhmhmhmm~

an apology.

i’m sorry if i disappointed anyone today.

even if nobody says it, i’m already disappointed with myself. maybe not a huge disappointment, but i can definitely do alot better.

maybe what happened today was a self-fulfilled prophecy. when i knew how the arrangement might be like, i said nothing to stop it, and here were the consequences. i took the responsibility on myself. and i didn’t pass the challenge i gave myself.

or maybe what happened today is just because i’m still not ready yet.

or maybe i’m getting complacent.

i will go and 自我检讨.

P.S: joseph! sorry about all the password protected posts. they just mean i was grumbling about some stuff deep in my heart. stuff that others gonna find ridiculous. So i used random passwords, so that i wouldn’t be able to remember them and read them in future and laugh at myself next time.

<3 today, <3 today's people, esp everyone who cooperated in the kitchen!

but i feel like i havent gone through enough. if i get difficult runners, i might screw up. i'm afraid because i think i'm not prepared enough for that…

i will continue to work hard, when that comes, i'll be ready for it.
WE'LL all be ready for it.

gambate!!

presentations.

First on the list: Today’s (it’s past midnight) FAMRES presentation~

Gotta work hard for that, must remember to read through the slides again in the morning. AND I need to think of what to wear.

After a break from formal-speaking, thursday will be presentation day for BEHORG. Gotta practise for that too, has to be E-N-G-A-G-I-N-G!

Next week’s exciting, white space! Time to prepare for exams. Gonna mug super hard. I hope. Must be disciplined. Must restrain myself. I shall not tell anyone that I have a white space next week, so working will be kept to a (rather) low frequency. At the same time, I’ll look less like a full timer, more so like a part timer.

~STUDY study STUDY study STUDY study STUDY study~

Resorts World’s phase opening is gonna be tomorrow (wednesday)! It’s gonna be cool.

~STUDY study STUDY study STUDY study STUDY study~

That’s it for now, cheers!

woot.

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clove shave.

been experiencing a pain in my left jaw joint and ear for the past few days. Thought it was TMJ dysfunction, and was kind of freaking out up ’til my dental appointment with Dr Yap. Turns out that it wsa just my bite that was putting pressure on the left joint. His solution: putting a piece of cement onto one of my teeth to ease the pressure (it diverts the focus of the pressure).

right now though, i can’t really bite down. Not so much because of the pain, but more of the cement preventing some of my teeth from contacting when i bite. oh wells.

And next time i see Dr Yap, it would most probably be during/after the surgery. I’ve gotta have my wisdom teeth taken out soon, and I’m not looking forward to it. Hope they give me tonnes of anesthetic. Hahas.

But anyways, Dr Yap is really good, that tiny piece of cement really helped, this morning I woke up with NO PAIN!

i wonder what i can have for lunch today… any good recommendations for congee in the orchard area?

:/

:/ 

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hmmp.

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huh.

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pirate.

Been downloading and listening to songs since yesterday afternoon. Downloading mandarin songs are such a hassle, because they have to be (mostly) downloaded individually, in contrast to english songs, where the pirate community is far more advanced – torrents.

Haven’t listened to mandarin songs for quite a while now. Last time might have been…. Secondary 2 or 3? That’s 3-4 years back. Very long. Luckily there were a few random trips to Kbox to keep me somewhat updated.

Music is very good, it can help us express how we feel, make us feel better by listening to them. But it doesn’t really help with improving how we actually express ourselves.

I find my command of english losing its hold. And I’m really scared. Who am I if I can’t even speak/type in proper english? It is the thing I’ve ever worked the hardest for.

It’s time to picking up reading again. This time around, it’s gotta be hardcore.

“It’s ok, don’t talk about this already. Learn from this experience, move forward.” Did he really mean that??

For the first time, I really feel like getting drunk.

shit, and more shit.

Fire the food. Why is the food not out. How much food not out. How long more to fire. where are the runners. where are the trays. fire the next course. How long more to pick up. Are you sure all the food has gone out. If you cannot run the kitchen tell me, I run. Tell me what happened. Where is the food. Where is the fucking food. Coming out means plating or moving out. The food the food the food!!!

Might go crazy if this goes on.

Do I really want to ‘not give up’?

sometimes…

Sometimes I wonder how capable I really am. I have been trying so hard to give myself an answer to that question. To give myself a full-stop for that question mark.

I find myself able to communicate, but others do not seem to receive the signal/message I’m trying to send. At school, the simplest concepts can’t be understood. At work, the shortest sentences receive a mere “huh?”. It is a totally different case if questions are asked to reaffirm the concept, but those people don’t, they simply assume, often insist that their version of the “concept” is correct, and during communication, it ain’t a dialogue, it’s a monologue, with them trying to impose their idea on me/others.

Now, I find communication tiresome. I’d rather be alone most of the time. With exceptions of some people, whom I’d really like to be in their company. It’s these people that make me think: Is it my problem when problems arise, or is it those of the people who don’t seem to, or don’t want to, understand?

I will not quit things now, not like last time, just because I face difficulties. I will train myself. I will tolerate being made to seem stupid when I ask questions. I don’t know how long I will last, but this shall be the same for both my school and work. I will prove to everyone.

And I find my writing skills degenerating.

Sometimes, I wonder whether it is right to be what I’m doing now.

facebooking.

One of the facebook applications, yesterday’s ‘forecast’:

Astrology – Today’s Gemini Horoscope
Here is your Today’s Gemini Horoscope
You get a better idea of how someone feels about you. This awareness is exciting.
Mood:Surprised
Lucky Color:Navy Blue
Lucky Number:61
Lucky Time of Day:10pm

“You get a better idea of how someone feels about you. This awareness is exciting.” the day passed, not sure if ‘that’ can be considered as this. The encounter was brief, and I want to believe. But my brain tells my heart it’s too good to be true. And when things seem too good to be true, they usually are.

I am wishing more and more that I’m an irrational person nowadays. Just go ahead and do something for myself, without a care in the world. I might be what people call “not your typical gemini”. I think things through. Too much some times. Sometimes I also wish how I was less sensitive to details. Maybe I should be a guy. Hahahas.

That’s it for today folks.

enough of this.

I cant believe it. Just when I think I’m immune to all of it, someone has to come along and destroy the equilibrium.

Have you ever encountered people who insist on covering their mistakes even when we all know, are fully aware, of what they have done? It is THE most irritating thing EVER. And doing so by pushing the blame to another person (who can’t possibly have done it), is simply despicable.

Only professional liars can look at others straight in the eye and do all of that. And I can confidently say, those people top my i-have-to-stay-away list right now.

All these nonsense, you think nobody is looking? You’re wrong.

>:(
Enough said.

Tis the season to be jolly~~

It’s Christmas day it’s Christmas day it’s Christmas dayyyyyyy!!! The first three people I spoke to on Christmas day are:
1. Yvonne!
2. taxi uncle!
3. Josephine!

Hahahas, there’s a pretty long and sad story as to why they are the top three, so let’s not put everyone through that, shall we.

AND AND AND, I spent the first five minutes of Christmas buying coke from a vending machine and taking the lift up to my place! Lucky I wasn’t on the cab when the clock struck twelve, otherwise I might have had to give the driver tips. Knowing me, I most probably will.

But anyway, I digress. So let’s come back and end off this post:

CHRISTMAS IS GOING TO BE F-U-N – FUN!!~~

The end. ^^

i think i have someone spying on this blog~~~

been relatively happy these fews days, finally working with people who actually WORK (more or less). in CATS class now, going to present for the group project. Shall post more maybe tonight. Wish me luck!

apologies.

Again, I haven’t been posting here. Tumblr’s working fine, that’s one of the reasons, another is that I just don’t have the energy to maintain two blogs at the same time. But I put effort into every one of my blogs, so I can’t bear to close this one.

Got to know some stuff recently, some of which made me happy, others made me not so happy. But maybe the problem lies with me. Maybe I’m too loud. I just need an avenue to release my feelings, and maybe I’m using the wrong channel. I just feel that typing out what I want to say is a good release for me. But if there are others who feel that I’m trying too hard to seek attention, I’m sorry, and I’ll not say another word.

It’s time for me to become silent.